As many of you know, I’ve been working on Confederate Articles in a space with lots of other artists, 14, no 15, no…I dunno anymore – there are lots of people around the creative space most of the time. These people are awesome and amazing, and have to deal with me being a novice when it comes to the artist’s lifestyle. This is my first go at it.
I’ve gone through some major growing pains over the past year (still going through them. Ouch!). It’s hasn’t been pretty. There was a 3 month period where I was constantly hungry and frantic (many of them have helped feed me after long days at the job, when I no longer had the energy to cook let alone artmake).
I have been super whiney and sad about not having a partner during this time of transition. I often fantasize that life would be soooooooo much easier if I had someone to help me with day-to-day responsibilities. The truth is, I have lots of people helping me. My coworkers pushing me expand my abilities. My friends who encourage me by following my blog and giving me tip offs when they see opportunities. I know how misguided my thinking about having an official partner were. Relationships aren’t automatic, they often don’t last, and they take work and time.
The people I’ve been surrounded by have shown me alternative relationship models, and the importance of open and honest communication.
I also boyfriendsit some of the dudes in the space while their ladypartners are away, this helps alleviate a lot of my loneliness.
I highly recommend boyfriendsitting. I found I got most of the benefits of having a boyfriend (interesting conversation, backrubs/hugs/non-sexual physical intimacy, someone to walk me to the laundry mat at night, juggling partner,ice cream surprises, team cooking) without actually having to deal with other boyfriend stuff (smelly socks, date night scheduling conflicts, general annoyance that comes with having to look at/be around the same person all the time).
I’ve also been intensely antisocial. No parties, no group outings, no new people, no, no, no, no, no. Work, work, work, work, work. But for some reason, they continue to talk to me. They’ve been there to listen and support. To give me hugs when I feel down, to encourage my practice, and to challenge many of my long held beliefs. My gratitude is endless, and although I don’t outwardly show it all the time (working on relearning how to be more excited, enthusiastic, and effervescent like I was before the giant cave monster appeared out of a crack in the earth to steal my girlhood dreams) I want to share my joy about them by sharing their work with all of you.
He is probably the closest thing I have to a BFF right now. We have a creatively generative relationship, encouraging each other to think about and approach our creative projects from different perspectives.
Anthony is a videographer. He records and edits video and is completing a masters degree in information technology at San Francisco State University. Some of the things we like to do together include: making food (I usually just mooch off of his voracious appetite by eating a little of whatever he’s eating), making and planning videos together, taking pictures (see below), making fun of the vernacular used in the art world (everyone is always “holding space,” and dong things with “intentionality”), having hip hop education/appreciation sessions (we currently agree that The Game and 50 Cent’s Hate It or Love It is the shit), and generally just chilling.
I once described him as the chillest drama queen on the planet. He has a mild and easy going spirit and is always looking to introduce people to the city, giving directions, inviting people to social events, and generally looking after the well being of those around him. He can sometimes be a little squirrelly, darting from here to there, quickly going from one idea to the next, constantly shifting. These are just some of observations I’ve made in the past 6 months of knowing him.
I especially like Anthony because he never takes me seriously. He laughs at me when I’m angry, and never gets worked up or tries to work himself into my problems. He gives me the space to squirm with my discomfort, and is always willing to tell me when I’m being ridiculous. This has been very important for me.
Check out his videos here. The one below is one of my favorites.
Remember to love and enjoy your friends.
p.s. If anyone wants to go out on a date because of this post just let me know. I told him I’d add that.